


Into the Light

by Lunar_Pull



Series: Into The Darkness [2]
Category: Big Bang (Band)
Genre: M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-22
Updated: 2015-05-22
Packaged: 2018-03-31 16:25:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,656
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3984859
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lunar_Pull/pseuds/Lunar_Pull
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Daesung learns what love is.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Into the Light

 

Daesung’s favorite thing in the world to do is kiss Youngbae. It’s followed closely by holding the smaller boy in his arms and holding his hand. The fourth is fucking him, of course.

 

Daesung doesn’t even know how it got this far. How one night of drunken debauchery and way too many hands and pairs of lips on him has led him to this couch in an apartment in the part of Dogville that makes him the most nervous. Daesung is lying on his back and Youngbae is on top of him, pecking little kisses all over his face and letting out these sweet little sighs that shouldn’t come from the same mouth that has, on more than one occasion, demanded double penetration.

 

Daesung is head over heels for this paradox of a human - this boy with an angel’s face living a sinner’s life. Daesung has never been kissed so damn softly and he’s never been so dizzy with affection that his heart hurt. He’s never seen a smile like Youngbae’s. He’s never felt like he’s holding the most precious thing in the world in his very own arms.

 

People like Youngbae shouldn’t exist. People like Youngbae shouldn’t exist in Dogville.

 

“Youngbae, we should stop,” Daesung hates to say, because they’ve been kissing for so long and his dick is throbbing - aching for friction and heat.

 

“The others still aren’t home.”

 

It’s an inconvenient truth that Youngbae is a package deal and Daesung can’t really have his way with him until his other three lovers get home. It didn’t really bother Daesung much before, although he did find it profoundly strange, even for Dogville.

 

But now, Youngbae’s smile does more than just stir Daesung’s loins. Now, it makes his stomach flutter uncomfortably and his heart clench in his chest. It’s not just sex anymore. Not to Daesung.

 

“You’re right,” Youngbae says, sitting up. “Want to read a book?”

 

Daesung manages to bite back a sarcastic remark but Youngbae grins in a way that lets him know it’s a joke.

 

The little rascal.

 

“They’ll be home soon,” Youngbae says while chuckling, burying himself in Daesung’s muscular arms like he belongs there. “We can just sit like this for now.”

 

Daesung sighs and wonders when the hell just sitting _like this_ became the highlight of his week. He holds Youngbae tighter and the smaller man lets out a pleased hum.

 

“I missed you this week,” Youngbae says, fingers stroking Daesung’s chin, directing him to face him. Daesung’s breath catches.

 

“I missed you, too,” Daesung's husky voice is quiet and he bites his lip. “I didn’t realize how much I missed you until I saw you at the bar and I couldn’t get off work.”

 

“I know,” Youngbae’s eyebrows knit together in a slight frown. “I wish you were around more.”

 

“Do you really want that?”

 

“Of course I do.”

 

Of course. Of course he does. Like it’s so obvious. Like he doesn’t have three other men vying for his attention, one of which being a very possessive, serial killer. Or hired assassin. Same thing, right?

 

“Youngbae,” Daesung starts to say but Youngbae has changed positions suddenly. He’s straddling Daesung and pecking little kisses on his face again.

 

“Do you know why I want you around?”

 

Daesung’s expecting some raunchy remark meant to tease the hell out of him. He plays along. “Why?”

 

“Because I love you.”

 

Daesung hasn’t heard the word love in years. The last time he heard it, it was right before his mother pushed him out of his home, screaming at him to run away as fast as he could. Protecting him one last time from his insane father.

 

Daesung looks up at Youngbae and somehow, it seems like he knows - he knows how important those words are, how very hard it is to accept them. He wipes the tear that Daesung hadn’t realized escaped his eyes with a gentle brush of his thumb.

 

“I mean it, Daesung.”

 

“Why?” is the only word Daesung can get out without collapsing into weeping.

 

“Because you’re beautiful and you have the warmest heart. I trust you. And I just love you.”

 

“God, Youngbae, how can you be so...so…” Daesung takes a deep breath and composes himself. He squeezes Youngbae’s hips lightly. “I love you, too.”

 

Youngbae grins and everything is bright and perfect and Daesung forgets for a second that he’s in the worst neighborhood in the most fucked-up place in the world.

 

“Good, that will make everyone really happy.”

 

Oh. _Oh_.

 

Daesung’s got to clarify some things. “Youngbae, I love you but not all of you.”

 

Youngbae’s smile drains away. “What?”

 

“I don’t love your boyfriends or whatever they are. I don’t even know them - ”

 

“You fuck them,” Youngbae says, his voice suddenly adopting an accusing tone.

 

“That’s not the same thing.”

 

Youngbae frowns. “They love you.”

 

“I don’t think that’s true.”

 

Youngbae sighs and gives the most compassionate smile he can muster as he gets off Daesung’s lap. He doesn’t say another word. Just walks into the bedroom and shut the door and Daesung is left reeling.

 

He kind of wishes he had just lied.

 

* * *

 

 

The knock on the front door shocks Daesung out of his embarrassing, depressed stupor. He hasn’t seen Youngbae or the boys (except for Seungri, who works at the bar now) in two weeks and it shouldn’t make him feel so fucking upset he can’t even motivate himself to get off the damn couch.

 

It’s infuriating - how damn sad he is just because a boy wants more from him than he can give. Daesung doesn’t understand how Youngbae can just give out pieces of his heart so easily, how he can even have that much affection to impart.

 

And what’s love, anyway, but handing yourself over to another fickle and flawed human and waiting for the inevitable day when they let you down? What’s the point?

 

The fragile part of Daesung’s mind tells him that love is so much more than that. It screams at him to contact Youngbae before it’s too late, to apologize and lie and do whatever it takes until a smile dawns on his face and he kisses forgiveness onto Daesung’s lips. It tells him that nothing in his life has ever felt better than the way Youngbae sighs in his ear, right after he’s come, and he pulls his face back to stare openly into Daesung’s eyes until it feels so delicate and raw that he has to break their eye contact just to keep some level of control.

 

Love is how Youngbae makes him feel like they are the only two people in the universe, even when they are sharing a bed and their bodies with three other men.

 

But the jaded part of Daesung tells him that no, it’s not love. Love isn’t strong enough to be shared by so many people. He doesn’t love Youngbae, he’s just infatuated with what a strange creature he is; it’s nothing more than a passing fancy.

 

The knocking becomes louder and Daesung reaches for his pistol. He hopes it’s not one of those kind of nights.

 

When he opens the door, the tallest and most mysterious of Youngbae’s motley crew of lovers is in the doorway, clad in an expensive suit and wearing a suave, crooked smirk that makes his dimples stand out. Daesung’s heart skips several beats.

 

When he notices Seunghyun is holding something behind his back, Daesung wastes no time in pointing his gun at his face. He knew there would be danger if he involved himself with these men, but he didn’t think there’d be a risk of death. Apparently he thought wrong.

 

Seunghyun smiles a bit wider and his voice is so impossibly deep when he speaks that Daesung can’t help but feel a shiver travel up his spine.

 

“Well, aren’t you a clever one? You’re very right to be intimidated, but I’m not here to kill you.”

 

Daesung is sure that his bewilderment shows on his face because Seunghyun lets out the most gorgeous laugh; the sound is rich and throaty and honest.

 

“I’m here to romance you, Daesung,” Seunghyun says as he brings his arms to his front. He’s holding a large, colorful bouquet of flowers.

 

 Daesung is thrown off-kilter. Where the fuck did Seunghyun even find flowers in Dogville? Daesung lowers the gun and lets the taller man inside. Seunghyun brushes past him and squeezes his ass as he walks by. Daesung quivers.

 

“I don’t understand,” Daesung says, trying to maintain his composure as Seunghyun makes himself at home on his couch.

 

“The flowers were pretty boy’s idea, by the way. I thought they were cheesy but he said you’d love shit like that.”

 

Daesung remembers how Seunghyun has an odd affinity for nicknames. “Youngbae sent you?”

 

“He didn’t _send_ me,” Seunghyun scoffs. “But you really did a number on him, you know? He’s all ‘woe is me, I can’t make Daesung love you guys, I’ve failed as a person’, blah, blah, blah.”

 

Daesung suppresses the urge to smile. Knowing that Youngbae is still thinking about him is a respite from the storm. “Is he terribly upset?”

 

Seunghyun snorts. “Oh, you don’t know the half of it. It’s driving Jiyong nuts.”

 

Daesung’s eyes widen but Seunghyun continues. “Don’t worry, he’s not gonna kill you, either. We don’t want to kill you.”

 

“Then why are you here?”

 

“I’m taking you out on a date, so hurry up and go get dressed. We have about four hours to sneak into the City and come back and I’m not running in these shoes.”

 

Seunghyun stands up swiftly and points to his watch. Daesung can do nothing but obey.

 

The restaurant is lovely - glittering with diamond-encrusted walls and glass chandeliers. Seunghyun and Daesung have to enter through the kitchen, but the wait staff all nod at Seunghyun respectfully. Daesung feels oddly proud, especially when Seunghyun leads him through the main floor with a gentle, protective hand at the small of his back.

 

They drink the finest wine and Seunghyun looks at Daesung like he’s the tastiest meal on the menu. Daesung preens, smirking back at the taller man with a newfound confidence. He’s used to being the dominant one - the one who decides and the one who protects - but there’s something captivating about letting someone else take the lead. All Daesung has to do is sit back and enjoy the ride.

 

“I can’t believe you got us in here. I’ve never even been in the City before.”

 

Seunghyun reaches across the table and laces their hands together. “Only the best for my boys.”

 

“I’m not your boy,” Daesung says, the smile fading from his face. He tries to draw his hand back but Seunghyun holds on tighter.

 

“You’re right,” Seunghyun concedes. “You’re not a boy. You’re a man.”

 

Daesung looks up sharply, straight into Seunghyun’s smoky eyes. “I don’t know exactly what you’re trying to do here, but I’m not just some easy lay. I’m not trying to judge you guys but I don’t think I fit into your...your thing.”

 

Seunghyun smiles; a softness in his eyes that takes all the allure out of his grin. “You fit. You fit right in. Believe me.”

 

Daesung scoffs and pulls his hand away. Crosses his arms. “I don’t understand you.”

 

Seunghyun leans back in his chair. “I’m just trying to show you that I care.”

 

“Because Youngbae asked you to.”

 

“He didn’t ask me to. He just told me what happened. He told me he loves you so much but he feels guilty keeping all your love to himself, so he wants us to show you. He told me you’re a stubborn bastard who will deny his feelings and that words don’t work with you. You need actions. So here I am, showing you.”

 

“Why?” Daesung finds himself asking again.

 

“Because you fit,” Seunghyun responds and he finishes his wine and motions for the check.

 

They walk back a different direction than they came and Daesung feels a pang of worry. What if Seunghyun is going to kill him after all?

 

They end up in an abandoned playground. The slide is bent at an obtuse angle and the bars holding up the swings look rusted and precarious. Seunghyun walks right up to one and sits down. Pulls out a cigarette and lights it. The smoke he exhales makes a ladder to the stars and maybe it’s the wine or the sadness or the odd romantic nature of the night but Daesung feels vulnerable. He misses his mother.

 

“This is where I met Jiyong,” Seunghyun begins. “He was half-naked, emaciated and there was dirt all over his face, so I felt sorry for him. He punched me in the face and stole all my money.”

 

Seunghyun is smiling like it’s the fondest memory and Daesung’s not sure why he’s telling him all this. “They took him away the next day and I thought he was gone for good but he came back a few months later. He said angels existed and I thought he’d gone insane in the prison but he was talking about Youngbae. He saved Jiyong.”

 

Daesung already knows this part of the story. Youngbae has told him about the boy who snuck into his bedroom window and into his heart.

 

“Because of them, I was able to recognize how special Seungri was when I met him.”

 

Daesung feels tears start to sting at his eyes but he doesn’t know why. He turns towards the fence, away from Seunghyun so he can’t see the tears. When did Daesung become so weak? He is so lost in his loneliness that he doesn’t hear Seunghyun’s footsteps. He flinches when he feels Seunghyun’s arm encircle his shoulders.

 

“I need them and they need me. And we need you.”

 

“Do you love me?” Daesung asks and Seunghyun holds him tighter.

 

“No, not yet.” Daesung bows his head.

 

Seunghyun walks around him and the lamp posts behind his head make a halo of his hair. He smiles and cups Daesung’s cheek before flicking his spent cigarette into the night.

 

“But I could. If you’d let me.” He places a chaste press of his lips to Daesung’s forehead and his other arm pulls their bodies flush together. “Will you let me love you, Daesung?” he whispers and Daesung feels like he’s melting into his arms.

 

He hopes the deep kiss he places on Seunghyun’s warm mouth is enough of an answer.

 

 

* * *

 

 

The bar is unreasonably crowded. It’s annoying as hell because the patrons are rude and impatient and the bar is low on staff.

 

As it is, they had to pull Seungri off the dancing schedule so he could help Daesung at the bar. Daesung thought it would be awkward, but Seungri is smiling like the cat that ate the canary and the taller man kind of knows he’s in for it.

 

“Why haven’t you come over lately, handsome?” Seungri asks, looking up at Daesung through his long lashes and pouting his lips provocatively.

 

 _Because Youngbae probably hates me_ , Daesung thinks but doesn’t say. He’s still feeling terribly guilty about how things with Youngbae left off, but Seunghyun keeps coming over to his apartment and kissing him until the morning light so Daesung’s been somewhat distracted from his heartache.

 

“It’s complicated,” Daesung says instead, sliding a beer to an angry-looking gangster.

 

Seungri smirks. “Can you teach me how to make a whiskey neat?”

 

Daesung frowns. Seungri can’t possibly be that dumb. He comes over to his side anyway. The dark-haired boy makes a show of fumbling the order and Daesung has to stand behind him and hold his arms as he pours the amber liquid. They’re so close together and the heat from Seungri’s body is almost as intoxicating as the drinks he definitely already knows how to pour. He’s not that good of an actor. But Daesung plays along, because Seungri is pushing out his ass a bit, rubbing it against the obvious bulge in Daesung’s pants and now he fucking loves this game.

 

“You’re really good with your hands,” Seungri half-moans, completely oblivious (or perhaps not) to the sea of people around them.

 

Daesung helps him pour another easy drink, hand still possessively placed on his thin waist. “I’m good with other things, too.”

 

Seungri laughs breathily and turns around in Daesung’s arms. He brushes Daesung’s bottom lip with his finger before responding, “Oh, I know that.”

 

He’s still done up in his stage make-up, smokey eyes and pink-tinted lips glittering in the mood lighting of the bar like Seungri's some sort of god and Daesung finds it hard to tear his eyes away. Seungri flashes a winning smile before turning back around and serving another drink expertly.

 

What a fucking tease.

 

They keep at it all night. Touches ranging from light teases to almost grinding behind the bar and the crowd is either unconcerned or they can’t see what’s going on. It’s intimate and Seungri’s flirtatious smiles are making Daesung’s heart beat a rapidfire rhythm against his ribcage. By the time the young, former prostitute bends over slowly and deliberately to pick up a towel he obviously dropped on purpose, Daesung’s had enough. He catches Seungri in his arms when he comes back up.

 

Daesung can’t bring himself to say what he wants but Seungri knows. “Five minutes is all I need.”

 

They sneak off to the staff bathroom after leaving a poor untrained rookie at the bar. Their mouths are on each other before the door even closes.

 

“Jesus Christ, I missed your mouth,” Seungri half-groans, half-gasps. He bites Daesung’s bottom lip lightly, like he knows he loves.

 

“Fuck,” Daesung says, wasting no time, undoing his belt buckle as Seungri slides to his knees. “Wait - ”

 

Seungri doesn’t wait. He’s on a deadline after all. He wraps his wicked lips around Daesung’s cock and sucks him fast and hard and sloppily, head bobbing at a quick pace and his hands stroking in tune.

 

“Oh, god,” Daesung gasps, husky voice barely above a whisper.

 

Seungri stops and pulls his head back to look up at Daesung with a huge, shit-eating grin on his face.

 

“Not God. Just Seungri,” he jokes and Daesung can’t help but laugh, even though it’s not that funny and even though he really wants to come all over the younger boy’s face.

 

Seungri must be psychic or maybe there’s some sort of supernatural power that he’s gained from fucking for a living for the majority of his life. “Do you want to come on my face?”

 

Daesung’s eyes go wide and he nods wildly, overzealous and over-stimulated. Seungri looks right into his eyes, openly and unguarded, as he stokes Daesung to completion.

 

Daesung closes his eyes tightly when he comes. He blacks out for a second, because Seungri is an expert at what he does. When he comes down from the high and he opens his eyes, Seungri is still on his knees, looking up at him with a tender look on his boyish features. Daesung almost forgets that there’s cum all over him.  

 

“Let me clean you up,” Daesung says as he buckles his belt again. He pulls Seungri up by his biceps and uses a small towel.

 

Seungri’s eyes blink delicately as Daesung softly cleans his face. His other arm is securely latched to Seungri’s waist and the younger boy’s arms are pressed between their chests.

 

The atmosphere is different. Now that the sex part is over, there’s a kind of calmness that settles between them. It’s comfortable. Their faces are close together and Daesung is taking off Seungri’s make-up, too, revealing the natural, breath-taking beauty underneath. There’s a faint scar on Seungri’s cheek that marrs his perfection and Daesung finds himself wanting to know everything that this young boy has been through. He wants to know everything about Seungri, whose fluttering eyes and shy smile make him look innocent and so, so young. There’s something about him that reminds Daesung of Youngbae.

 

“Was I good?” Seungri asks quietly.

 

Daesung smiles and holds him closer. “You were good.”

 

Seungri grins and ducks his head as a slight blush appears on his cheeks and even though Daesung’s mind is still putting up a wall, his heart is already beating out of his chest and into this broken boy’s hands.

 

A boy with a filthy mouth and a rough heart, a temptation and a dream. Another heart made of layers and steel walls. Daesung sees his own hesitant spirit reflected in Seungri’s brown eyes.

 

He's a kindred soul.

 

“You,” Daesung kisses Seungri deeply, between each word, “are so good.”

 

Seungri leans his cheek against Daesung’s broad chest as the taller man strokes his back soothingly.

 

In a derelict bathroom of a dirty bar, with lowlives, thieves, and murderers standing just outside the door, Daesung holds a beautiful boy in his arms and falls for him.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Youngbae shows up after four weeks.

 

He walks into the bar, nervously wringing his hands together, narrow eyes scanning the crowd. When his eyes meet Daesung’s gaze, he smiles and Daesung feels like he can breathe again.

 

Youngbae comes up to the bar and leans against the wood.

 

“Hey,” he says, and his voice is music to Daesung’s ears. He can’t believe how much he’s missed him.

 

“Hey,” he says back, because if Youngbae’s going to be casual then Daesung’s going to follow his lead.

 

“Can we talk?” Youngbae says, biting his lip nervously. It helps to know he’s apprehensive, too.

 

Daesung smiles, because even though he doesn’t know what Youngbae wants to say, just seeing him is making him feel like he’s walking on air. “I’m off in ten minutes. Can you wait ‘til then?”

 

Youngbae nods. “I’ll be outside.”

 

He gives one last sunrise smile before he walks out the door. Daesung will always regret that it took him fifteen minutes to close up the bar.

 

When he walks outside, there are five fuckers gathered in a circle, kicking the shit out of a lump on the ground that Daesung knows in his heart of hearts is Youngbae’s body.

 

All the years he’s spent making himself as invisible as possible fly out of the window. Daesung growls in fury as he runs towards them, punching and kicking and screaming until one of them mutters that ‘this shithead is crazy’ and they all disperse. Daesung’s eye is swollen shut and he’s pretty sure one of them broke a bottle over his head because there’s warm liquid trailing down his back, but none of that matters because Youngbae is crumpled on the floor and he hasn’t moved.

 

There are no hospitals in Dogville. Healthcare is not for the poor.

 

Daesung lets out an anguished wail before approaching Youngbae’s bloodied form. The tears in his eyes are making his vision blurry and he can’t see Youngbae’s face. Can’t see if the smaller boy's eyes are even open.

 

 _Fuck_.

 

It would be easy to panic and despair, to break down completely because why the _fuck_ did it take him so long to come outside? He was organizing shot glasses while Youngbae was dying.

 

Daesung gathers the broken body in his arm and prays, for the first time since he was a boy, for salvation. For Youngbae’s life.

 

“Please, God, don’t take him away, please, God, let him be okay.”

 

Daesung doesn’t realize he’s praying out loud until a bloody hand cups his face. He takes off running to the only place he can think of.

 

 

* * *

 

 

“What the fuck?”

 

Seungri and Seunghyun are on the couch together, doing something that looks suspiciously like cuddling and the younger boy squawks indignantly when the front door to his apartment bursts open until he sees what Daesung is holding in his arms.

 

Seunghyun moves fast to take the heavy load off Daesung’s arms and Seungri hovers over the body, checking for a pulse and snapping his fingers in Youngbae’s torn face.

 

“No, no, no. What happened? What happened to him?” he shouts, his panicked voice is grating as Seunghyun places the fragile body onto their large bed. The taller man grabs Seungri’s shoulders and stares him down.

 

“Calm down. Call Jiyong. Now.”

 

Seungri rushes out of the room and Daesung stands there, staring at Youngbae. He tries to remember whether he heard Youngbae breathing in his arms or if it was just wishful thinking. He’ll never forgive himself if he just dragged a corpse back home. He should have left the bar sooner.

 

Seunghyun looks over at Daesung and walks over to him, putting out his cigarette on the bedside table. He cups Daesung’s face and inspects his wounds.

 

“Did you guys get jumped?”

 

Daesung shakes his head. “He did. He was waiting for me outside the bar.”

 

“And you?” Seunghyun is cleaning the wound over Daesung’s eye with a liquid that stings.

 

Daesung hisses. “I came outside too late. I just fought them off but he was already on the floor and they were kicking at him and - ”

 

Daesung tries to stifle his crying before it even begins and Seunghyun embraces him. “Not now, Daesung. You and I have to be the strong ones right now. For Seungri and Jiyong. You can break down later, okay?”

 

Daesung sucks in a deep breath. _Jiyong_.

 

How can he ever face Jiyong now?

 

* * *

 

When Jiyong comes, he is a cyclone - a funnel wind of dark and rage and vengeance that blows through the living room and into the bedroom without saying a word or sparing a glance to anyone.

 

Daesung has Seungri in his arms because the younger boy can’t stop crying. He keeps whispering that Youngbae’s going to die and Daesung doesn’t have the heart to tell him he probably already did. Seunghyun’s been taking care of Youngbae. Daesung helped him to clean up the wounds on his body but then Seunghyun shooed him out of the room. Daesung suspects he just wanted to be alone with Youngbae.

 

One last time.

 

“If he dies, I’ll die, too,” Seungri says, his face buried in Daesung’s neck.

 

“It’s going to be okay,” Daesung lies and places a soft peck to Seungri’s temple.

 

When Seunghyun emerges from the bedroom, his eyes are red-rimmed and his hands are caked with blood but he opens his arms to Seungri when the boy runs to him.

 

“How is he?” Seungri asks, eyes bright and hopeful.

 

Seunghyun sighs. “He’s breathing and his eyes are open. I think I heard him talking to Jiyong when I left.”

 

Daesung’s stomach drops and he feels lightheaded.

 

“What about you?” Seunghyun asks, inspecting Daesung's cut with skilled hands. “Is this the only wound?”

 

“I think so,” Daesung says, but Seungri joins Seunghyun in fussing over him and they make him stand up so they can make sure he doesn't have any broken bones.

 

It feels good to be held and touched. Seunghyun and Seungri care about him, too. Maybe they really do love him.

 

Jiyong comes out of the bedroom and it’s so silent that you could hear a pin drop. Seungri gasps at Daesung’s side.

 

Jiyong approaches Daesung slowly, his steps are heavy and his mouth is a thin line of barely held-back wrath. His eyes look crazed. When he comes face to face with Daesung and the bartender expects to feel a blade plunge into his heart any minute. He deserves it.

 

Jiyong’s eyes start to water and he grabs a tuft of hair at the back of Daesung’s head. He pulls him in and kisses him viciously, teeth and sorrowful hearts clanking together. Daesung kisses him back with just as much pain.

 

“You saved him,” Jiyong hisses, when he lets Daesung go.

 

“I didn’t. I wasn’t fast enough - ”

 

“Shut the fuck up, Daesung,” Jiyong’s voice is low and threatening. “You risked your life for him. You brought him back to us. Thank you.”

 

Jiyong’s lips are quivering and his kiss is softer this time.

 

“He’s asking for you,” Jiyong says before he turns back towards the bedroom and walks through the door.

 

It doesn’t matter who he meant, because they all follow him.

 

* * *

 

 

This is what love is for. 

 

It’s for times like these. It is what gets you through tragedies.

 

Love is how Seungri stops his crying to comfort Seunghyun. He lets the taller man lay his head on his lap and he strokes his thick hair as Seunghyun pretends that he’s not crying.

 

Love is how everyone else pretends he isn’t, too.

 

It’s how Jiyong is holding Youngbae in his arms and singing the shorter boy’s favorite song, even though his voice can’t reach the high notes and it sounds terrible. Love is how Youngbae smiles regardless.

 

Love is how Youngbae pats the spot next to him on the bed, inviting Daesung to slide up next to him.

 

“I’m so sorry,” Daesung mourns.

 

Youngbae’s smile is somehow still bright, but his eyes are dimmed and it takes him a long time to get a single sentence out. “Don’t be.”

 

Jiyong looks at Daesung. “We can’t let him fall asleep. He’s gonna fight us, but we can’t let him sleep tonight. If he has a head injury and he falls asleep…”

 

Daesung nods. He understands. Love is how Jiyong trusts Daesung to help.

 

“Did you hear me, baby?” Jiyong's honey sweet voice comes out as he kisses the top of Youngbae’s head. “You can’t fall asleep tonight. It’s dangerous.”

 

Youngbae pouts. “But I’m so tired.”

 

“I know, baby, I know,” Jiyong says, shaking him a bit. “But I think you’ve got a concussion and there’s no hospitals here. There’s no doctors to help you. So you have to make it through tonight and then I’ll take you back. I’ll take you back to the City, where you belong.”

 

Love is how Jiyong is willing to give Youngbae up if it means saving his life.

 

“No,” Youngbae says. “I don’t belong there. I belong with you.”

 

It’s also how Youngbae refuses to leave.

 

“All of you,” he adds with a smile and the other two now join them on the bed.

 

“Pretty boy, we’re gonna have to take you. They’ll fix you up and then we’ll bring you back,” Seunghyun places a soft peck on Youngbae’s cracked lips.

 

“You promise?”

 

Seunghyun nods and smiles earnestly. Kisses Youngbae again.

 

“Of course they’ll bring you back,” Seungri grins, but the tears are flowing freely down his face again. “You think I’m going to let them take away the best fuck I’ve ever had?”

 

Youngbae laughs but then he winces in pain and Jiyong soothes him and brushes the hair back from his forehead lightly. Daesung wants to tell Youngbae that he loves him - loves  _all_ of them - he wants them all to know the truth of his heart. But Youngbae is looking at him with a wise smile.

 

“I know,” he says and Daesung starts to believe in miracles.

 

“I love you so much,” Seungri whispers and even though it’s meant for Youngbae, a part of Daesung thinks he means all of them.

 

Love is how Daesung just knows.

 

“You hear that, baby?” Jiyong says, shaking Youngbae again because he’s closed his eyes again. “Seunghyun and I are going to take you to the hospital tomorrow and Seungri and Daesung are gonna be right here. They’re going to be waiting for you to come back so you just have to last a few more hours, okay?”

 

“I’m so sleepy,” Youngbae frowns.

 

“Baby, remember the first thing you ever promised me?”

 

Youngbae smiles. “That I’d give you my virginity?”

 

“Very funny," Jiyong snorts. "No, the other thing.”

 

Youngbae frowns again, trying to remember. “Oh, that?”

 

“Yes, baby. You promised me that we’d never have to be alone again. You know that I’m going to follow you wherever you go. So if you really want to go to sleep, I’ll fall asleep with you. I’ll - ”

 

Seungri chokes back a sob. Or maybe it was Seunghyun. Daesung can’t tell.

 

“I’ll go with you, baby, if that’s what you want.”

 

Youngbae’s eyes fly open. He stares at Jiyong like they are the only people in the world. They look into each other's eyes, speaking a language without words; a language of blinks and smiles and the deepest kind of connection. Jiyong kisses the tip of Youngbae's nose with more tenderness and emotion than a hitman for hire should be allowed to have.

 

“But these three fools can’t come with us. So you’ve got to decide, baby.”

 

Love is how Youngbae rolls his eyes, like they’re all being overly dramatic, and he makes a dumb joke, to ease their pain. “Well, maybe I wouldn’t be falling asleep if you guys weren’t so boring.”

 

Seungri lights up and kisses Youngbae’s cheek over and over again until Jiyong makes him stop because Youngbae is flinching in pain.

 

The four men band together and take turns keeping Youngbae awake with stories, jokes, silly dances, well-timed deep kisses and, when all else fails, slaps to his face.

 

The dawn breaks and Youngbae is deadly pale and has dark circles under his eyes but he’s alive and breathing normally and it’s the happiest moment of Daesung’s life. Seunghyun and Jiyong load him carefully into an unmarked black vehicle. There isn’t much time.

 

Seungri and Daesung watch the car speed off from the balcony. Seungri wraps his arms around himself.

 

“Everything is going to be okay, you know,” Daesung says and for the first time in a long time, he believes it.

 

Seungri looks at him and gives a tired smile. “I hope so. He’s my heart.”

 

And it’s suddenly crystal clear to Daesung that Youngbae is his heart, too. Maybe that’s how everyone else feels. From this day forward, Daesung knows what love is truly is. It isn’t possession or monogamy or this half is mine and this half is yours.

 

Love is the fact that Seungri and Daesung trust Seunghyun and Jiyong to keep their heart safe and sound.

 

And to bring him back home.

 

 


End file.
